Facing My Demons

Brain is spilling out with heartfelt experiences about what I learnt from my trip to Portugal. There’s honestly soo much to write about! This will be one of many Portugal inspired blog posts.

First off, let me take you back to my past…

Childhood trauma haunted me.

I couldn’t escape, because it was me.

It swallowed me into a pit of depression.

Little Naomi didn’t know how to handle it,

She was a child,

She couldn’t hold the darkness,

It built up,

until it exploded into panic attacks.

I’m now realizing how strong little Naomi is.

I love her soo much.

The saving grace,

The holy vibrations,

MUSIC.

Music saved my life.

Got lost in the rhythm.

Took me to another reality.

A sweet surrender.

Dancing like a flame,

Singing at the top of my lungs.

In those moments,

I was free.

My demons melted away.

I would dream of seeing my favourite artists live. One year I got hyped up about Lollapalooza, a music festival in Berlin. But little Naomi lacked confidence, friends and money to go. I was living in a place of fear.

The last few years I’ve been healing my trauma wounds. My spirit guides assure me that this world has beautiful things for me. I trust the universe. I am open to receive the miracles life has to offer.

In 2019, I let go of what was dulling out my light; left a shitty relationship, left my job, my house, gave away most of my possessions, bought a one way ticket to Greece and tickets to the 2020 Porto Primavera festival.

Due to covid the festival kept being postponed but finally it arrived!

Thing is with trauma is that it keeps coming up. Its a constant battle, but once you make friends with the demons, it gets a lot easier to reason with them and not let them take over your reality.

They started whispering thoughts of fear

“Everyone will be drunk with their friends, and you’ll be the sober loser on your own”

For some time I entertained these ear worms.

Then I came to my senses.

I have the music.

It’s about the music.

My childhood dream.

I AM strong enough to go on my own.

Little Naomi would be so proud.

So off I hopped on a plane to Portugal…

To be continued…

On BIG Mouth Naomi

Learning To Receive

The thing is about being human, being here on this earth is we’re always fighting. Fighting against our own bodies and the external. It’s almost like we feel we’re going to fall apart if we don’t keep it together, turn into a pile of goo on the floor.

I used to always be fighting. Thinking the worst (that the government are selling our soul’s energy ect..) How do these thoughts serve me? How are they impacting my life?

I took a big step; letting go. I stopped trying to control every outcome. Surrendering my life to the universe.

Welcoming

Each moment,

As it arrives.

Receiving the beauty and pain of life.

Feeling it deeply.

That’s where the magic is.

You see us humans have this tendancy to be on the never ending quest of self improvement.

Which is great and all…

But how often,

Do you stop and appreciate,

How you’re already whole.

You’re already a divine being.

A child of the universe.

~ Soak it in ~

Guess Who’s Back

Wack out the haggard notebook. Delv into the draw, find a perfect pen. Now time to go on a date with the blank page. Staring at each other awkwardly. How do I express myself? Trick is to write the first things that come to you. Get the flow going, then you can totally ride the wave dude!

I love going on dates with blank pages. Pouring your mind onto paper, creating portals with words.

But I was in a self destructive cycle; ignoring the wisdom from my higher self, telling me to write.

Mind, body and soul are intrinsically connected. If you ignore your Higher Self for long enough, it brings dis-ease. As you’re literally going against your soul.

Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom, to get us to wake up and listen. The tower card in the tarot deck. It’s love hate relationship with tower moments. Bit of tough love from the universe.

Healing letter to my Higher Self

I started writing about dimensions and evolution, getting frustrated with wording it right. My spirit guides gave me a good talking to “Keep it simple. Write about where you’re at.”

So here I am, with a short and simple post. I will be posting some deep spiritual stuff soon though!

A New World is Coming

I’ve been ruminating about this post for a while now. I’m treading carefully, as I don’t want to come across as preachy. This faith is different to religions. As only You can get through your awakening. No one can drag you there. It’s totally in your hands.

Once you awaken, all these downloads will come in and it becomes painful to keep quiet and pretend that everything is normal.

The universe knew that I was struggling to write this, so they sent messages to inspire. Most of the messages came through conversations with random people. If you ever have an urge to say something to someone, it’s probably the universe guiding you. A small comment might seem insincificant, but it may be a puzzle piece for someone. You have more of an impact than you think you do!

Someone messaged me saying

“Energy. That sounds like a fairytale.”

That’s because it is! The media is full of clues about how the universe works. What’s the main thing we learn from fairytales?

Love Always Wins.

In fairytales, it always gets to a point where it looks like the villains are about to win. But everytime, something miraculous happens, the heroes pull through, and save the world.

The same will happen in our reality.

Having a chat with a Christian lady, she was talking about armegedon and saying that it didn’t make sense how it is predicted that “People will fight with God.”

God is inside us.

Before that beautiful loving energy can come through, we need to shed the paradigms that keep us comfortable. As the old paradigms are consumed by flames, we may cling on to them or try to revive them, this won’t work and just lengthen the painful process until you surrender to the darkness.

After the fire has settled, a beautiful Phoenix will rise from the ashes. That’s you, fully in your power!

When people talk about “the end of the world” they normally expect huge dramatic things to happen externally. It might do, but this will be a reflection of the inner shift that we’ll be going through.

No one is coming to save you.

You’re the Hero!

I’m soo proud of you, for all the work you’ve already done on yourself and all that you will do in the future. It’s been hard, and it will continue to get harder.

Have faith light being. We are giving birth to a new world. Birthing is not an easy process.

This song came out last year when I was having my awakening, gives me goosebumps and makes me cry everytime!

You’ve Got A Higher Power

If you haven’t read my last post I suggest that you go read it, otherwise this might not make much sense.

I’m not going to lie, after publishing my last post a sense of fear came over me.

I did some shadow work, to find out where this fear came from. It boiled down to the fact, that the ones who currently rule the physical world, do not want us to remember this. Throughout history they have murdered shamans, lightworkers, witches, healers. Not only killing them, but taking the knowledge and techniques, to use to their advantage and making it harder for us to remember. (I’ll go further into how they do this in another post)

I had a long discussion with my spirit guides, I was making loads of excuses why I couldn’t do it. They lovingly reminded me “remember who you are” What do they mean by that? This might sound like an odd question, but do you know who you are?

Without labelling yourself as what you do, your interests, job, titles, roles, without all that, who are you?

Are you your thoughts? In your head say the word: hello. Can hear that voice in your head? You are the listener, the one observing the voice, not the voice itself.

So how do you find out, who you are? By working on yourself, practicing meditation. No thoughts. Becoming nothing. You will meet your higher self. Your true essence.

Your soul will leave the body and you’ll experience the purest form of love and light. It’s beautiful and feels soo familiar, like coming back home. You’ll realise that you are in the presence of god and that you are an extention of that energy.

I don’t often use the word god as I feel like religion has tainted that word, I prefer source energy/universe/spirit. But feel like I need to say god, so you can appreciate how powerful you are.

There’s no need to be scared of the ones ruling the physical world. We’re made of the strongest force in the universe; Love.

The truth is reveling itself. Everything will be exposed. This is why many people are having awakenings. My purpose is to help others on their awakening journey.

You might be thinking that I’m crazy. But I reckon there’s another voice in your head saying that it might be true. Probably because one of the rules of the universe, is that this knowledge can’t be a complete secret. What’s going on has to be at least indirectly mentioned. There’s soo many clues in song lyrics, flims, books, symbology and myths.

I love learning lyrics to songs, and that really helped me realise what’s going on. So perhaps I’ll share a song that’s relevant to what I’m talking about in each blog post.

This tune puts a smile on my face and great to have a boogie to! Coldplay are such an underrated band in my opinion.

There’s alot more coming out of my big mouth about the awakening! Follow me so you don’t miss out on my posts. Thanks for having an open mind and reading.

Speaking My Truth

There’s a reason why I’m blogging, that I haven’t shared with you. Yes, to express myself, but there’s a bigger reason than that.

Before I share what my truth is, let me paint a picture of what happened in my life that led me to this truth.

Since I was a child, I knew there was something wrong with the world. Most people that I meet are good, so how come there’s soo much bad in the world?

My heart filled with sadness, as I watched corporate greed destroy mother earth. I became heavily involved with wildlife charities and protesting with Extinction Rebellion. But nothing seemed to be changing, if anything it got worse.

I felt like I how can I be happy, earning money to help run a fucked up system? What’s the point? There’s got to be more to life!? Can you relate to this? Are you searching too? The seeker shall find… Keep asking…

Around this time last year, I received some inheritance money. I made the decision to leave an unfufilling relationship, gave all my stuff away and got a one way ticket to Greece. It might seem a bit drastic, but it was exactly what I needed.

It was only when I stopped trying to save the world, and start to really get to know myself and heal my wounds, that everything became clear.

I had a spiritual awakening.

You might think, a spiritual awakening would be all peace and love. But it’s not at all. You have to explore the darkest parts of yourself, everything you’ve kept hidden, secrets that you don’t want to deal with. It’s hard, but keep going! Run to the darkness. You’ll find a light. Spoiler alert the light is You! Your higher self.

At some point in this never ending healing journey, your third eye will burst open, and you’ll receive what the spiritual community call “downloads” which is basically you remembering knowledge, about everything, why the world is how it is, what will happen in the future, the meaning of life ect.

You’re probably thinking, okay Naomi so how are we going to bring peace to the earth?

Imagine the world as a cell, everything that is from the cell is made up of the same molecules as the cell itself. This explains why we have so much turmoil in our own lives, because the world is also in turmoil.

Now imagine each microbe on an infected cell started to take control of their mind, body and soul. This changes the whole cell, because the microbes make up the cell.

Okay but Naomi, just because I awaken, that doesn’t mean everyone else will?

You might have come across the phrase “we are all connected.” Have you ever had an idea, then seen your exact idea done by someone else? This is because we share a consciousness. Although in the physical realm, it looks like we’re seperate, in the spiritual realm we’re one big energy ocean.

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We’re living in a time prophesied in all ancient religions known as the great awakening.

It’s very exciting and liberating to finally write about this! I have alot to write about. But you will only fully understand and know the truth, when you’ve explored your dark side. Are you ready to take that step?