here i am

I don’t like doing what I’m told, even if its by my higher self, aka me the one that knows everything.

My ego is like “I did all this inner work that lead to a spiritual awakening, which was incredible and terrifying, just so I can spoon feed people what I’ve learnt. Bitch please, they’re called ancient secrets for a reason. Do the inner work you’ll find out, cause it’s literally encoded in your dna.”

During meditation my higher self explains

“It’s Your Purpose to share what you have found. You can try to run away from it, but it will only leave you feeling frustrated and unsatisfied, because deep down this is what your soul is meant to do.”

Ego releases a loud sigh “I’m fucking cursed”

“It’s a gift!” laughs higher self

“Look up the meaning of your last name…”

My last name is Bott. Did a google search to find that the name has roots in the German language and means ‘messenger emissary’. I looked up the meaning of ’emissary’ and it came up with; ‘a person sent as a diplomatic representative on a special mission.

“Sounds intense. Now I know how Joan of Arc felt.

How can I put into words what I’ve experienced?” moaned Ego

“You’ll find the words. Or rather the words will find you. Don’t force it. Play with it. Why so serious?”

Best friend Jesus said be like a child. That means connecting with your inner child. My inner child hasn’t introduced themself yet in this blog post, and that’s okay, letting them know that they can.

I really cherish my inner child. She sings at the top of her lungs, dances until she’s out of breath, rolls down hills, makes compost soup, builds fairy dens and believes in magic.

Basically I see myself split into three main people. (There’s loads more but I tend to focus on these three)

Higher Self= All knowing soul connected to source.

just imagine,

knowing E-E-E-VRY-THING

and everyone around you also knows everything.

Everyone considered themselves as one

Would there be any point to life?

it’s nice,

but it’s boring.

we need to play

in the realm of the physical world

why we have created this

wonderful simulation

to do just that

Stim-ulate us

through

Se pa ra tion

we dance

to the greatest song of all time

The Verse of The Uni

Before coming to earth we undergo a process,

where we forget who we are.

Life is a game.

My soul can Breathe

First night at my new place. In fact it’s my first night sleeping in a proper bed in about 2 months! Due to being homeless, once again. To be fair I did have homelessness on my bucket list, for the experience and wisdom it gives. You learn to love the little things, plus it gives you freedom to move anywhere you please. But ultimately having your own personal space is so important for the soul.

While I was living in my tiny tent, I found a red printed mandala duvet and pillow case set in a charity shop. Now I’m ecstatic to have it on an actual bed!

Here I am, on this beautiful bed and can I sleep, can I fuck lol.

One must experience complete darkness, before you can find the light.

I’ve been patient.

I’ve followed the gentle calling of my heart.

Tripping Through trials triumphantly.

It hasn’t been easy.

It’s slow and messy.

be easier to end it all. But I could never.

Life is beautiful even in the darkness.

Look at the skies,

moons and sunrises.

Abundant woodlands.

Weed and Music.

Thank fuck for music.

I knew my time for happiness was coming.

This pain hasn’t been in vain.

There’s a reason.

You’re here.

For a reason.

Don’t doubt that!

Or think “oh I’m not that special”

You are whatever you say you are.

Build yourself up babe.

Because We need You.

To be the most you,

(because only you can do it muthafucker.)

Amongst all the noise,

Listen to the gentle calling of your heart.

The universe will give you everything

you need to grow.

Find the patterns

that don’t serve you,

crush them with your spirit.

This will rewire dna.  

You’ll flourish

into an abundant human.

One of My (physical) Guides…

Wherever I choose to settle…

I find myself,

Meeting a guide or two…

A particular type of guide always comes up.

Being;

Insanely inquisitive,

Perfectly poised,

(But somehow at the same time…)

Skittishly comical.

I’m fascinated at how they survive the treacherous stunts they do!

Masters at living in the moment.

May I introduce to you….

All the way from the sixth dimension…

Here to help humans remember who the fuck we are…

Cats!

Bubba camouflaged in the compost.

Learning To Receive

The thing is about being human, being here on this earth is we’re always fighting. Fighting against our own bodies and the external. It’s almost like we feel we’re going to fall apart if we don’t keep it together, turn into a pile of goo on the floor.

I used to always be fighting. Thinking the worst (that the government are selling our soul’s energy ect..) How do these thoughts serve me? How are they impacting my life?

I took a big step; letting go. I stopped trying to control every outcome. Surrendering my life to the universe.

Welcoming

Each moment,

As it arrives.

Receiving the beauty and pain of life.

Feeling it deeply.

That’s where the magic is.

You see us humans have this tendancy to be on the never ending quest of self improvement.

Which is great and all…

But how often,

Do you stop and appreciate,

How you’re already whole.

You’re already a divine being.

A child of the universe.

~ Soak it in ~

A New World is Coming

I’ve been ruminating about this post for a while now. I’m treading carefully, as I don’t want to come across as preachy. This faith is different to religions. As only You can get through your awakening. No one can drag you there. It’s totally in your hands.

Once you awaken, all these downloads will come in and it becomes painful to keep quiet and pretend that everything is normal.

The universe knew that I was struggling to write this, so they sent messages to inspire. Most of the messages came through conversations with random people. If you ever have an urge to say something to someone, it’s probably the universe guiding you. A small comment might seem insincificant, but it may be a puzzle piece for someone. You have more of an impact than you think you do!

Someone messaged me saying

“Energy. That sounds like a fairytale.”

That’s because it is! The media is full of clues about how the universe works. What’s the main thing we learn from fairytales?

Love Always Wins.

In fairytales, it always gets to a point where it looks like the villains are about to win. But everytime, something miraculous happens, the heroes pull through, and save the world.

The same will happen in our reality.

Having a chat with a Christian lady, she was talking about armegedon and saying that it didn’t make sense how it is predicted that “People will fight with God.”

God is inside us.

Before that beautiful loving energy can come through, we need to shed the paradigms that keep us comfortable. As the old paradigms are consumed by flames, we may cling on to them or try to revive them, this won’t work and just lengthen the painful process until you surrender to the darkness.

After the fire has settled, a beautiful Phoenix will rise from the ashes. That’s you, fully in your power!

When people talk about “the end of the world” they normally expect huge dramatic things to happen externally. It might do, but this will be a reflection of the inner shift that we’ll be going through.

No one is coming to save you.

You’re the Hero!

I’m soo proud of you, for all the work you’ve already done on yourself and all that you will do in the future. It’s been hard, and it will continue to get harder.

Have faith light being. We are giving birth to a new world. Birthing is not an easy process.

This song came out last year when I was having my awakening, gives me goosebumps and makes me cry everytime!

You’ve Got A Higher Power

If you haven’t read my last post I suggest that you go read it, otherwise this might not make much sense.

I’m not going to lie, after publishing my last post a sense of fear came over me.

I did some shadow work, to find out where this fear came from. It boiled down to the fact, that the ones who currently rule the physical world, do not want us to remember this. Throughout history they have murdered shamans, lightworkers, witches, healers. Not only killing them, but taking the knowledge and techniques, to use to their advantage and making it harder for us to remember. (I’ll go further into how they do this in another post)

I had a long discussion with my spirit guides, I was making loads of excuses why I couldn’t do it. They lovingly reminded me “remember who you are” What do they mean by that? This might sound like an odd question, but do you know who you are?

Without labelling yourself as what you do, your interests, job, titles, roles, without all that, who are you?

Are you your thoughts? In your head say the word: hello. Can hear that voice in your head? You are the listener, the one observing the voice, not the voice itself.

So how do you find out, who you are? By working on yourself, practicing meditation. No thoughts. Becoming nothing. You will meet your higher self. Your true essence.

Your soul will leave the body and you’ll experience the purest form of love and light. It’s beautiful and feels soo familiar, like coming back home. You’ll realise that you are in the presence of god and that you are an extention of that energy.

I don’t often use the word god as I feel like religion has tainted that word, I prefer source energy/universe/spirit. But feel like I need to say god, so you can appreciate how powerful you are.

There’s no need to be scared of the ones ruling the physical world. We’re made of the strongest force in the universe; Love.

The truth is reveling itself. Everything will be exposed. This is why many people are having awakenings. My purpose is to help others on their awakening journey.

You might be thinking that I’m crazy. But I reckon there’s another voice in your head saying that it might be true. Probably because one of the rules of the universe, is that this knowledge can’t be a complete secret. What’s going on has to be at least indirectly mentioned. There’s soo many clues in song lyrics, flims, books, symbology and myths.

I love learning lyrics to songs, and that really helped me realise what’s going on. So perhaps I’ll share a song that’s relevant to what I’m talking about in each blog post.

This tune puts a smile on my face and great to have a boogie to! Coldplay are such an underrated band in my opinion.

There’s alot more coming out of my big mouth about the awakening! Follow me so you don’t miss out on my posts. Thanks for having an open mind and reading.