Brain is spilling out with heartfelt experiences about what I learnt from my trip to Portugal. There’s honestly soo much to write about! This will be one of many Portugal inspired blog posts.
First off, let me take you back to my past…
Childhood trauma haunted me.
I couldn’t escape, because it was me.
It swallowed me into a pit of depression.
Little Naomi didn’t know how to handle it,
She was a child,
She couldn’t hold the darkness,
It built up,
until it exploded into panic attacks.
I’m now realizing how strong little Naomi is.
I love her soo much.
The saving grace,
The holy vibrations,
Music saved my life.
Got lost in the rhythm.
Took me to another reality.
A sweet surrender.
Dancing like a flame,
Singing at the top of my lungs.
In those moments,
I was free.
My demons melted away.
I would dream of seeing my favourite artists live. One year I got hyped up about Lollapalooza, a music festival in Berlin. But little Naomi lacked confidence, friends and money to go. I was living in a place of fear.
The last few years I’ve been healing my trauma wounds. My spirit guides assure me that this world has beautiful things for me. I trust the universe. I am open to receive the miracles life has to offer.
In 2019, I let go of what was dulling out my light; left a shitty relationship, left my job, my house, gave away most of my possessions, bought a one way ticket to Greece and tickets to the 2020 Porto Primavera festival.
Due to covid the festival kept being postponed but finally it arrived!
Thing is with trauma is that it keeps coming up. Its a constant battle, but once you make friends with the demons, it gets a lot easier to reason with them and not let them take over your reality.
They started whispering thoughts of fear
“Everyone will be drunk with their friends, and you’ll be the sober loser on your own”
Wack out the haggard notebook. Delv into the draw, find a perfect pen. Now time to go on a date with the blank page. Staring at each other awkwardly. How do I express myself? Trick is to write the first things that come to you. Get the flow going, then you can totally ride the wave dude!
I love going on dates with blank pages. Pouring your mind onto paper, creating portals with words.
But I was in a self destructive cycle; ignoring the wisdom from my higher self, telling me to write.
Mind, body and soul are intrinsically connected. If you ignore your Higher Self for long enough, it brings dis-ease. As you’re literally going against your soul.
Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom, to get us to wake up and listen. The tower card in the tarot deck. It’s love hate relationship with tower moments. Bit of tough love from the universe.
I started writing about dimensions and evolution, getting frustrated with wording it right. My spirit guides gave me a good talking to “Keep it simple. Write about where you’re at.”
So here I am, with a short and simple post. I will be posting some deep spiritual stuff soon though!
I’ve been ruminating about this post for a while now. I’m treading carefully, as I don’t want to come across as preachy. This faith is different to religions. As only You can get through your awakening. No one can drag you there. It’s totally in your hands.
Once you awaken, all these downloads will come in and it becomes painful to keep quiet and pretend that everything is normal.
The universe knew that I was struggling to write this, so they sent messages to inspire. Most of the messages came through conversations with random people. If you ever have an urge to say something to someone, it’s probably the universe guiding you. A small comment might seem insincificant, but it may be a puzzle piece for someone. You have more of an impact than you think you do!
Someone messaged me saying
“Energy. That sounds like a fairytale.”
That’s because it is! The media is full of clues about how the universe works. What’s the main thing we learn from fairytales?
Love Always Wins.
In fairytales, it always gets to a point where it looks like the villains are about to win. But everytime, something miraculous happens, the heroes pull through, and save the world.
The same will happen in our reality.
Having a chat with a Christian lady, she was talking about armegedon and saying that it didn’t make sense how it is predicted that “People will fight with God.”
God is inside us.
Before that beautiful loving energy can come through, we need to shed the paradigms that keep us comfortable. As the old paradigms are consumed by flames, we may cling on to them or try to revive them, this won’t work and just lengthen the painful process until you surrender to the darkness.
After the fire has settled, a beautiful Phoenix will rise from the ashes. That’s you, fully in your power!
When people talk about “the end of the world” they normally expect huge dramatic things to happen externally. It might do, but this will be a reflection of the inner shift that we’ll be going through.
No one is coming to save you.
You’re the Hero!
I’m soo proud of you, for all the work you’ve already done on yourself and all that you will do in the future. It’s been hard, and it will continue to get harder.
Have faith light being. We are giving birth to a new world. Birthing is not an easy process.
This song came out last year when I was having my awakening, gives me goosebumps and makes me cry everytime!
If you haven’t read my last post I suggest that you go read it, otherwise this might not make much sense.
I’m not going to lie, after publishing my last post a sense of fear came over me.
I did some shadow work, to find out where this fear came from. It boiled down to the fact, that the ones who currently rule the physical world, do not want us to remember this. Throughout history they have murdered shamans, lightworkers, witches, healers. Not only killing them, but taking the knowledge and techniques, to use to their advantage and making it harder for us to remember. (I’ll go further into how they do this in another post)
I had a long discussion with my spirit guides, I was making loads of excuses why I couldn’t do it. They lovingly reminded me “remember who you are” What do they mean by that? This might sound like an odd question, but do you know who you are?
Without labelling yourself as what you do, your interests, job, titles, roles, without all that, who are you?
Are you your thoughts? In your head say the word: hello. Can hear that voice in your head? You are the listener, the one observing the voice, not the voice itself.
So how do you find out, who you are? By working on yourself, practicing meditation. No thoughts. Becoming nothing. You will meet your higher self. Your true essence.
Your soul will leave the body and you’ll experience the purest form of love and light. It’s beautiful and feels soo familiar, like coming back home. You’ll realise that you are in the presence of god and that you are an extention of that energy.
I don’t often use the word god as I feel like religion has tainted that word, I prefer source energy/universe/spirit. But feel like I need to say god, so you can appreciate how powerful you are.
There’s no need to be scared of the ones ruling the physical world. We’re made of the strongest force in the universe; Love.
The truth is reveling itself. Everything will be exposed. This is why many people are having awakenings. My purpose is to help others on their awakening journey.
You might be thinking that I’m crazy. But I reckon there’s another voice in your head saying that it might be true. Probably because one of the rules of the universe, is that this knowledge can’t be a complete secret. What’s going on has to be at least indirectly mentioned. There’s soo many clues in song lyrics, flims, books, symbology and myths.
I love learning lyrics to songs, and that really helped me realise what’s going on. So perhaps I’ll share a song that’s relevant to what I’m talking about in each blog post.
This tune puts a smile on my face and great to have a boogie to! Coldplay are such an underrated band in my opinion.
There’s alot more coming out of my big mouth about the awakening! Follow me so you don’t miss out on my posts. Thanks for having an open mind and reading.
There’s a reason why I’m blogging, that I haven’t shared with you. Yes, to express myself, but there’s a bigger reason than that.
Before I share what my truth is, let me paint a picture of what happened in my life that led me to this truth.
Since I was a child, I knew there was something wrong with the world. Most people that I meet are good, so how come there’s soo much bad in the world?
My heart filled with sadness, as I watched corporate greed destroy mother earth. I became heavily involved with wildlife charities and protesting with Extinction Rebellion. But nothing seemed to be changing, if anything it got worse.
I felt like I how can I be happy, earning money to help run a fucked up system? What’s the point? There’s got to be more to life!? Can you relate to this? Are you searching too? The seeker shall find… Keep asking…
Around this time last year, I received some inheritance money. I made the decision to leave an unfufilling relationship, gave all my stuff away and got a one way ticket to Greece. It might seem a bit drastic, but it was exactly what I needed.
It was only when I stopped trying to save the world, and start to really get to know myself and heal my wounds, that everything became clear.
I had a spiritual awakening.
You might think, a spiritual awakening would be all peace and love. But it’s not at all. You have to explore the darkest parts of yourself, everything you’ve kept hidden, secrets that you don’t want to deal with. It’s hard, but keep going! Run to the darkness. You’ll find a light. Spoiler alert the light is You! Your higher self.
At some point in this never ending healing journey, your third eye will burst open, and you’ll receive what the spiritual community call “downloads” which is basically you remembering knowledge, about everything, why the world is how it is, what will happen in the future, the meaning of life ect.
You’re probably thinking, okay Naomi so how are we going to bring peace to the earth?
Imagine the world as a cell, everything that is from the cell is made up of the same molecules as the cell itself. This explains why we have so much turmoil in our own lives, because the world is also in turmoil.
Now imagine each microbe on an infected cell started to take control of their mind, body and soul. This changes the whole cell, because the microbes make up the cell.
Okay but Naomi, just because I awaken, that doesn’t mean everyone else will?
You might have come across the phrase “we are all connected.” Have you ever had an idea, then seen your exact idea done by someone else? This is because we share a consciousness. Although in the physical realm, it looks like we’re seperate, in the spiritual realm we’re one big energy ocean.
We’re living in a time prophesied in all ancient religions known as the great awakening.
It’s very exciting and liberating to finally write about this! I have alot to write about. But you will only fully understand and know the truth, when you’ve explored your dark side. Are you ready to take that step?
Wandering through Mother Nature’s Kingdom. Where she is recognised as the Queen. Her shapely legs take up all the space they need, up to the heavens she proudly reaches. She’s an ancient mother, covered in cracks and crevices, her wrinkles make her look even more beautiful. The smell of rich fertile soil, wafts through the air, luring seeds.
Admiring the joyful song of the winged angels, when a squeeky little “Oi” pierced through. I slowly turned my head left to right, in search of the noise, again it chimed in “Oi you! I’m the acorn!”
I gently picked up the Acorn that was desperate for my attention.
“Do you know how a tiny acorn like me, will grow into a mighty oak tree?”
Tilting my head back in thought I replied “How do you grow into a mighty oak tree?”
“Listen up Light One, A special formula is encoded, Inside Every Living Thing.
It’s called the Seed of Life, This pattern naturally Creates Harmony and Abundance.
If I were to fall into the trap of comparing myself to the big trees, forgetting that I’m made up of the same greatness. I wouldn’t grow. As that would be planting seeds of doubt.
So Light One, have faith, in yourself, in what we’re made of. Flower of Life, let your abundance flow it’s Your Birth Right!”
My main reason why I love Athens is in my other blog post so if you haven’t read that then… Go read it!
Okay, now thinking about it, perhaps this is the top reason why I love Greece…
Gosh you lot are quite something! I don’t like to generalise, but hey I’m going to generalise. I feel like I’m allowed to, since I’ve lived here for a while now and notice significant differences between Greeks and English people.
I feel like there’s two main type of Greek people.
The religious Greeks.
If you’ve read my other posts, you might have come to the conclusion that I dislike religion. Although I have a lot of constructive criticism to give to the churches. I won’t go into that now… I’ll save it for another blog post.
This is a Love story after all!
What do I love about religious people?
Spirituality gives people purpose and direction.
As Buddhists and Meeseeks say “existence is pain.”
When bad situations enter our lives, we might see this as a test from God/Universe.
How do we show up? How does our experience shape us? Do we let our past decions define who we are today?
The use of rituals is prehistoric.
Many of us partake in rituals without realising, whether it be celebrating a wedding, new year, birthday or grieving someone at a funeral. These events help us connect with our emotions and reflect.
Our busy lives take over, and often these events become the only rituals we observe.
While religious people, who often pray; to give thanks, ask for strength and forgiveness with whatever they’re dealing with. Surrendering what they can’t change to the universe/God. Giving all that weight and power to a higher being, with the belief that they will help you overcome it, is a mindful practice.
The act of positioning your hands in a certain way, for example bringing the palms together in a prayer position “connects the right and the left hemispheres of the brain and connects with spirituality/god/divinity. It promotes respect for oneself and others. It is considered a natural remedy for stress and anxiety and is useful for entering into a meditative state.” (from kooshoo.com)
It’s common to see people praying and making the sign of the cross on themselves, when they touch the head, the chest then both shoulders. The act of connecting a physical action with a spiritual belief is powerful in itself. Mind, body and spirit are connected. Practicing these rituals daily, help us connect with our higher self/intuition/god.
The Greek spiritual art work has its own unique style. The artist sees their creation as a part of their worship, therefore take time to make something beautiful. Rich jewel tones are a common theme: gold, emerald, marron and of course the classic Greek blue.
I said there was two main types of Greek people…
Can you guess the other group?
Anarchists! Of course!
Christians and Anarchists, polar opposites right?
It may look like that on the surface, until you look deeper and it becomes apparent that both groups are very similar.
Anarchism is derived from the Greek root anarchos meaning “without authority. ” They reject hierarchy structures and call for abolition of the state.
So do they want complete chaos? No
Instead of goverment, they think that people should work together to create a society in any form they choose. The belief that we can take care of each other without a government, is to have faith in humanity.
What do you think would happen, if we didn’t have governments? Do you trust people or governments more with your wellbeing?
Questioning and rebelling against authority goes back to ancient Greece. Philosophers that dared to share their controversial thoughts were put in prison and executed for “corrupting the youth.”
You can find Socrates prison in Filoupapou Hill, where he was held and killed. His friends and followers planned on setting him free, but he denied their help, choosing to martyr himself.
Imagine his followers at these bars begging him to leave, he nonchalantly replies “We don’t know what the death is, it’s not reasonable to be afraid of it.”
Would you call him brave or stupid?
In modern Greek history, a fascist junta military dictatorship took power in April 1967. Those who stood against them were tortured and killed. Freedoms were restricted; elections abolished, demonstrations and strikes forbidden, only church gatherings were allowed.
This led to the growth of Anarchist and Anti fascist movements in Greece, led by mainly students.
On November of 1973, students and citizens came together holding a massive demonstration at the Polytechnic University. The dictatorship retaliated by crashing a tank through the gates of the University, brutally murdering 24 people and leaving many injured.
Emotionally looking through pictures and footage of the uprising. Reminding me of the countries that are currently under oppressive rule.
Courageous people, that know how dangerous protesting is, but because they have soo much love for each other and what is right, they put their lives on the line. Rest in peace.
The same anarchist chants echo through the streets today. “Our passion for freedom is stronger than any prison.”
My favourite anarchist value is that no one “owns” land. We are all citizens of the earth and we should be allowed to go wherever we please. Sadly the ruling class have divided the earth with imaginary borders. Imagine the first person to ever draw maps. How would they know what seperates one country from another?
Anarchists offer support towards refugees, providing food at solidarity kitchens. They also are invited into squats. There’s even a squat only for women and their children.
Can you find any similarities between Christians and Anarchists?
They’re both about humanity and solidarity.
Which explains why Greeks have hearts of gold. Many that I’ve lived with would often cook me food and check in on me. One Greek lady would always end our conversations with “if there’s anything you need just let me know.”
The white cross in the Greek flag represents the Orthodox religion. While the 9 white and blue stripes represents the amount of syllabus of the phrase Ελευθερία ή Θάνατος’ (Eleftheria I Thanatos) which means “Freedom or Death.” Perfect symbolism for the general Greek attitudes.
Thank you for reading till the end!
What did you learn from this article? Are you Greek? Do you agree that Greeks have beautiful souls? I’d love to know your thoughts!
I still have soo much more to write about magical Greece!
Growing up in a council house on benefits. With my dad and brother. No Mother to show me the way. Nits in our hair. Shoes falling apart. Skin covering bare bones.
Enviously looking at girls who adorn themselves with jewellery and beautiful fitted clothing.
Disappointed in Myself and My situation.
A heavy sense of shame followed me.
I didn’t want people to see Me.
If you’re different, you’re a target.
“Ewww you don’t shave your armpits!”
“I won’t talk to you until you shave”
Body shaming each other.
Ultimately, it’s not their fault.
We’ve been raised in a toxic system where shaming ourselves and others is considered “normal”
All of us are cogs in this mashine.
Even when you realise, that you’re a cog, it’s hard to break away from these patterns, because that’s all you’ve ever known.
Word on the streets is
This System is going Down!
From the Ashes
Grows a New System
Built on Self Love.
It starts with
Women Coming Together.
In a Safe Space.
Listening with Love.
Raising each other UP
I’m on a journey of self discovery.
How My body works.
How My mind operates.
What My heart feels.
Privileged to be part of a group of women that are doing the same.
I’m part of the Virtual Inner circle with Womben Wellness. We learn in depth knowledge about the female body and develop a relationship with our bodies.
It’s such a beautiful enriching resource. I really recommend it! Even if you can’t afford the Inner circle membership, there’s loads of free videos and guides. (This isn’t a paid advert but if you would like to work together let me know lol!)
I’m grateful for the gift of writing. It really helps me process traumatic periods in my life and uncomfortable feelings that arise from them. By reflecting and retelling the story you can learn so much about others and yourself.
My wise friend told me to “Run to the darkness. ” Explore your emotions, rather than bottling negative feelings. Although it will be hard, you will grow soo much.
Lepon… So… Here’s my growth Story.
I’d never felt so at home before!
There was no pressure to: clean, work, cook ect…
I’d be on the balcony smoking weed and gardening all day. Going on bike rides with my flatmates. Making art.
It was a sweet life.
I felt happy in my little sanctuary. The only problem was when I went outside.
A shaddy authoritative figure holds out their hand.
“bla bla speaking in Greek… “
“Yassas I don’t speak Greek”
“Show Me Your ID”
I was in total shock. I own up to my white privilege, in the whole 25 years of being alive, the first time I was stopped and asked for ID was in Greece a few months ago. Verbal randomness started flowing out of my mouth.
You know when you’re a kid and you just keep asking “why though?”
Well I’m still a kid and like to ask alot of questions.
But seriously though
“Why do you need to know who I am?”
“Have I committed a crime?”
Then they start to get funny and say something like
“Do you want to get arrested?”
I go all Lauren from the Catherine Tate show ( look it up if you can be bothered 😉
“Can I not just ask a question tho? Can’t EVEN ask a question? Are we living in a dictatorship tho? Are you going to arrest me for asking a question? Am I Bothered? Look at my face. Am I bothered? Not Bothered!”
(exaggerated the situation obvs 🙂
Or the classic.
“I’ll show you my ID if you show me yours Officer”
(sounds soo pervy lol)
“As how do I know you would give it back? I don’t know you, and certainly don’t trust you. “
Surprised that I actually got a cop to give me his personal ID.
It is perfectly within your right to ask these type of questions. I think it’s important to do so.
It reminds them that We Are Equals.
Just because they’ve been given a shiny badge by the government, does not make them superior.
They start to identify with their job title and lose who they really are.
If no one challenges them, then they’ll keep thinking they have the power.
It is also perfectly within your right, to flim the police or someone else in a public space. Be aware that some police also have cameras and mics inbeded in their uniform.
At the start of the year I went into the Athens Police Headquarters to complain about how rude and aggressive the police are.
“We’re not like England!”
This activated me into Mary Poppins…
The super Nanny for the Kako cops…
“Young man, I’m seeing alot of unacceptable behaviour around here.”
As the government tighten their control, on the protests showing solidarity for Dimitri Koufontinas. (link explaing about Koufontinas). The police displayed more aggression towards the people. Despite this, Greek people showed solidarity, and fought back.
My room mate showed me horrific videos of police abusing their power and ganging up on individuals. At my nearest metro, the police pushed people into the station and threw tear gas in an enclosed space.
Going out felt like a warzone.
I’d go past a cop I’d be like
Under my breath.
Silently praying that my friends are Daxey Laxey (okie dokie)
If any police are reading this please would you email me your answers to these questions:
What is your duty?
Who do you work for?
Are you serving the people?
Or serving the Government?
What do you Stand for?
Who Are You?
For Growth to happen you need to undergo trauma and run towards it screaming!
You might get brusied (emotionally) but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right!? Stand a little taller… Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone… ;D (you’re gonna have that stuck in your head now)
Lepon, the traumatic incidences with the police.
We were exercising our right to protest, but the protest didn’t happen as the police dispanded everyone. So we went for a coffee, sat on some grass by the side of the road.
I got comfortable.
Took my shoes off.
Having a good time when…
A group of at least 6 Team Drassi officers pull up on bikes next to us. They start encroaching on our personal space. One officer kicked my bag and scarf.
I felt threatened.
When this happens your body goes into Fight or Flight mode.
Animal instincts kick in.
This is our body’s natural way of protecting itself. This is useful, when fleeing from other animals or attacking them.
But we’re not wild animals in the jungle. Although it sure feels like it sometimes!
We can’t simply run away from our problems. We are told we have to talk to the Malaka police and give them our ID.
Your body fills up with energy. If you don’t use it, it comes out as a panic attack.
Okay, so this time, I was with my trusted Greek friends. I could see they where rationalising with the officers and that everything would be Daxey.
Wasn’t soo Daxey when I was with my friend, cycling down a road in Athens. We passed loads of riot police, we went the wrong way and had to pass them again.
Menacing black uniforms surrounded our bikes. I suggested some fresh fashion advice.
“I’d love to give your uniforms a make over. I’d put a red heart on your sleeves, to remind you to be loving and to show the people you care.”
The officer got soo pissed at this!
“We wear Black! This isn’t a game! We are at war!”
At War with Who?
Yourself I think.
Police non stop asking questions.
A lot of questions…
“Where are you going? When is your birthday? Where were you born? Where do you live? How long have you been here? Why are you trembling?”
“Because We’re SCARED!”
I’ve worked on my mental health alot recently. I can spot a panic attack coming. I ground myself using my breath. I can calm down.
However this time, I had a full hiperventaling panic attack in front of the cops.
I was scared that they were going to hurt me. I didn’t care if they took my ID. I just had to leave the toxic situation.
Some of them started to laugh at me.
How Dare they!
Disturb my peace of mind!
Make fun of someone vulnerable!
Got home, cried, shouted, made soo much art about it. But no matter what I did. I couldn’t shake out all the rage. It’s there for a reason. To be explored…
I had been triggered. I was acting out, to express my pain, calling out for attention and comfort from my loved ones.
However my friends didn’t like this behaviour and it made them react and push away from me. We’d argue. As you might imagine, I’m a good talker and stubborn. I always defend myself and my actions. It’s hard to see other points of view.
Especially, when most of us live by toxic values, that we’ve been conditioned to follow, by the system.
“Put a brave face on. ”
“Don’t show your weakness.”
“Don’t be the odd one out.”
Body shaming, sex work shame, putting others down, seriously the list can go on for ages…
Let me know what toxic value you’re un-conditioning yourself from!
I decided to follow my intuition and leave the beautiful sanctuary flat and my gorgeous little cat.
“If they can’t handle me at my worst, they don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe
Moving out was incredibly hard. There were a lot of tears! As there were many good memories in that flat.
I hope that my friend sees that there was no bad intentions in my behaviour and we can move past this.
I acknowledge that we are not are thoughts or actions. Any moment we can change the narrative of who we are.
Anyone read till the end? If you have thank you soo much for your support and love! I hope you got something, from me explaining my story.