Brain is spilling out with heartfelt experiences about what I learnt from my trip to Portugal. There’s honestly soo much to write about! This will be one of many Portugal inspired blog posts.
First off, let me take you back to my past…
Childhood trauma haunted me.
I couldn’t escape, because it was me.
It swallowed me into a pit of depression.
Little Naomi didn’t know how to handle it,
She was a child,
She couldn’t hold the darkness,
It built up,
until it exploded into panic attacks.
I’m now realizing how strong little Naomi is.
I love her soo much.
The saving grace,
The holy vibrations,
MUSIC.
Music saved my life.
Got lost in the rhythm.
Took me to another reality.
A sweet surrender.
Dancing like a flame,
Singing at the top of my lungs.
In those moments,
I was free.
My demons melted away.
I would dream of seeing my favourite artists live. One year I got hyped up about Lollapalooza, a music festival in Berlin. But little Naomi lacked confidence, friends and money to go. I was living in a place of fear.
The last few years I’ve been healing my trauma wounds. My spirit guides assure me that this world has beautiful things for me. I trust the universe. I am open to receive the miracles life has to offer.
In 2019, I let go of what was dulling out my light; left a shitty relationship, left my job, my house, gave away most of my possessions, bought a one way ticket to Greece and tickets to the 2020 Porto Primavera festival.
Due to covid the festival kept being postponed but finally it arrived!
Thing is with trauma is that it keeps coming up. Its a constant battle, but once you make friends with the demons, it gets a lot easier to reason with them and not let them take over your reality.
They started whispering thoughts of fear
“Everyone will be drunk with their friends, and you’ll be the sober loser on your own”
For some time I entertained these ear worms.
Then I came to my senses.
I have the music.
It’s about the music.
My childhood dream.
I AM strong enough to go on my own.
Little Naomi would be so proud.
So off I hopped on a plane to Portugal…
To be continued…
On BIG Mouth Naomi
BIG mouth Naomi 