Facing My Demons

Brain is spilling out with heartfelt experiences about what I learnt from my trip to Portugal. There’s honestly soo much to write about! This will be one of many Portugal inspired blog posts.

First off, let me take you back to my past…

Childhood trauma haunted me.

I couldn’t escape, because it was me.

It swallowed me into a pit of depression.

Little Naomi didn’t know how to handle it,

She was a child,

She couldn’t hold the darkness,

It built up,

until it exploded into panic attacks.

I’m now realizing how strong little Naomi is.

I love her soo much.

The saving grace,

The holy vibrations,

MUSIC.

Music saved my life.

Got lost in the rhythm.

Took me to another reality.

A sweet surrender.

Dancing like a flame,

Singing at the top of my lungs.

In those moments,

I was free.

My demons melted away.

I would dream of seeing my favourite artists live. One year I got hyped up about Lollapalooza, a music festival in Berlin. But little Naomi lacked confidence, friends and money to go. I was living in a place of fear.

The last few years I’ve been healing my trauma wounds. My spirit guides assure me that this world has beautiful things for me. I trust the universe. I am open to receive the miracles life has to offer.

In 2019, I let go of what was dulling out my light; left a shitty relationship, left my job, my house, gave away most of my possessions, bought a one way ticket to Greece and tickets to the 2020 Porto Primavera festival.

Due to covid the festival kept being postponed but finally it arrived!

Thing is with trauma is that it keeps coming up. Its a constant battle, but once you make friends with the demons, it gets a lot easier to reason with them and not let them take over your reality.

They started whispering thoughts of fear

“Everyone will be drunk with their friends, and you’ll be the sober loser on your own”

For some time I entertained these ear worms.

Then I came to my senses.

I have the music.

It’s about the music.

My childhood dream.

I AM strong enough to go on my own.

Little Naomi would be so proud.

So off I hopped on a plane to Portugal…

To be continued…

On BIG Mouth Naomi

Guess Who’s Back

Wack out the haggard notebook. Delv into the draw, find a perfect pen. Now time to go on a date with the blank page. Staring at each other awkwardly. How do I express myself? Trick is to write the first things that come to you. Get the flow going, then you can totally ride the wave dude!

I love going on dates with blank pages. Pouring your mind onto paper, creating portals with words.

But I was in a self destructive cycle; ignoring the wisdom from my higher self, telling me to write.

Mind, body and soul are intrinsically connected. If you ignore your Higher Self for long enough, it brings dis-ease. As you’re literally going against your soul.

Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom, to get us to wake up and listen. The tower card in the tarot deck. It’s love hate relationship with tower moments. Bit of tough love from the universe.

Healing letter to my Higher Self

I started writing about dimensions and evolution, getting frustrated with wording it right. My spirit guides gave me a good talking to “Keep it simple. Write about where you’re at.”

So here I am, with a short and simple post. I will be posting some deep spiritual stuff soon though!

A New World is Coming

I’ve been ruminating about this post for a while now. I’m treading carefully, as I don’t want to come across as preachy. This faith is different to religions. As only You can get through your awakening. No one can drag you there. It’s totally in your hands.

Once you awaken, all these downloads will come in and it becomes painful to keep quiet and pretend that everything is normal.

The universe knew that I was struggling to write this, so they sent messages to inspire. Most of the messages came through conversations with random people. If you ever have an urge to say something to someone, it’s probably the universe guiding you. A small comment might seem insincificant, but it may be a puzzle piece for someone. You have more of an impact than you think you do!

Someone messaged me saying

“Energy. That sounds like a fairytale.”

That’s because it is! The media is full of clues about how the universe works. What’s the main thing we learn from fairytales?

Love Always Wins.

In fairytales, it always gets to a point where it looks like the villains are about to win. But everytime, something miraculous happens, the heroes pull through, and save the world.

The same will happen in our reality.

Having a chat with a Christian lady, she was talking about armegedon and saying that it didn’t make sense how it is predicted that “People will fight with God.”

God is inside us.

Before that beautiful loving energy can come through, we need to shed the paradigms that keep us comfortable. As the old paradigms are consumed by flames, we may cling on to them or try to revive them, this won’t work and just lengthen the painful process until you surrender to the darkness.

After the fire has settled, a beautiful Phoenix will rise from the ashes. That’s you, fully in your power!

When people talk about “the end of the world” they normally expect huge dramatic things to happen externally. It might do, but this will be a reflection of the inner shift that we’ll be going through.

No one is coming to save you.

You’re the Hero!

I’m soo proud of you, for all the work you’ve already done on yourself and all that you will do in the future. It’s been hard, and it will continue to get harder.

Have faith light being. We are giving birth to a new world. Birthing is not an easy process.

This song came out last year when I was having my awakening, gives me goosebumps and makes me cry everytime!