Facing My Demons

Brain is spilling out with heartfelt experiences about what I learnt from my trip to Portugal. There’s honestly soo much to write about! This will be one of many Portugal inspired blog posts.

First off, let me take you back to my past…

Childhood trauma haunted me.

I couldn’t escape, because it was me.

It swallowed me into a pit of depression.

Little Naomi didn’t know how to handle it,

She was a child,

She couldn’t hold the darkness,

It built up,

until it exploded into panic attacks.

I’m now realizing how strong little Naomi is.

I love her soo much.

The saving grace,

The holy vibrations,

MUSIC.

Music saved my life.

Got lost in the rhythm.

Took me to another reality.

A sweet surrender.

Dancing like a flame,

Singing at the top of my lungs.

In those moments,

I was free.

My demons melted away.

I would dream of seeing my favourite artists live. One year I got hyped up about Lollapalooza, a music festival in Berlin. But little Naomi lacked confidence, friends and money to go. I was living in a place of fear.

The last few years I’ve been healing my trauma wounds. My spirit guides assure me that this world has beautiful things for me. I trust the universe. I am open to receive the miracles life has to offer.

In 2019, I let go of what was dulling out my light; left a shitty relationship, left my job, my house, gave away most of my possessions, bought a one way ticket to Greece and tickets to the 2020 Porto Primavera festival.

Due to covid the festival kept being postponed but finally it arrived!

Thing is with trauma is that it keeps coming up. Its a constant battle, but once you make friends with the demons, it gets a lot easier to reason with them and not let them take over your reality.

They started whispering thoughts of fear

“Everyone will be drunk with their friends, and you’ll be the sober loser on your own”

For some time I entertained these ear worms.

Then I came to my senses.

I have the music.

It’s about the music.

My childhood dream.

I AM strong enough to go on my own.

Little Naomi would be so proud.

So off I hopped on a plane to Portugal…

To be continued…

On BIG Mouth Naomi

One of My (physical) Guides…

Wherever I choose to settle…

I find myself,

Meeting a guide or two…

A particular type of guide always comes up.

Being;

Insanely inquisitive,

Perfectly poised,

(But somehow at the same time…)

Skittishly comical.

I’m fascinated at how they survive the treacherous stunts they do!

Masters at living in the moment.

May I introduce to you….

All the way from the sixth dimension…

Here to help humans remember who the fuck we are…

Cats!

Bubba camouflaged in the compost.

Learning To Receive

The thing is about being human, being here on this earth is we’re always fighting. Fighting against our own bodies and the external. It’s almost like we feel we’re going to fall apart if we don’t keep it together, turn into a pile of goo on the floor.

I used to always be fighting. Thinking the worst (that the government are selling our soul’s energy ect..) How do these thoughts serve me? How are they impacting my life?

I took a big step; letting go. I stopped trying to control every outcome. Surrendering my life to the universe.

Welcoming

Each moment,

As it arrives.

Receiving the beauty and pain of life.

Feeling it deeply.

That’s where the magic is.

You see us humans have this tendancy to be on the never ending quest of self improvement.

Which is great and all…

But how often,

Do you stop and appreciate,

How you’re already whole.

You’re already a divine being.

A child of the universe.

~ Soak it in ~