It’s been a while since I wrote something and actually published it on here!
Mainly because I’ve been dealing with my own shit. When certain negative emotions arise, I like to take step back, analyze my brain, by asking myself questions; to find the root of the problem. This is called Shadow work.
So if you want to know how my brain works, and probably yours too, as we’re all pretty similar, carry on reading…
I was out in the fancy part of Rome.
The people were like the buildings; ozzing elegance and class.
Look down at myself, stain on my top, worn out boots, no make up, hairy armpits.
Feelings of inadequacy start bubbling up inside.
When we feel jealous of someone,
There’s two paths our mind can take.
Either, strive to be “better” than them.
This might sound like a healthy mindset, because this is what society encourages. But seeing others as competition is toxic. It can create an addiction mentality, because they’ll always be someone “better” than us.
Instead of looking within ourselves; we are taught to look outside. This mindset underpins capitalism. Which explains why depression and anxiety are prevelent today.
I call myself out, when I notice my mind going to dark places, for example with negative self talk.
“Oi thought! This mind is a place of LOVE.”
Although I’m an anti capitalist badass, we live in a capitalist world, where the conditioning is clever, we don’t even realise it. It can easily infiltrate our minds. Becoming a constant self love battle.
My initial feelings towards the fancy people was completely the opposite of striving to be like them…
“Bourgeoisie bullshit” I huffed to myself. “These people are soo fake, they only care about how they look.”
Why can’t I admire someone’s beautiful outfit, without it triggering something within me?
For me, it triggered hurt feelings, of not being able to fit in with others.
The phrase “If you can’t join them, beat them” shows how both mentalities come from the same place. Both see others as competition. Shaming others, becomes a survival tactic.
Not only does it alienate people, but it puts people into boxes, based on how they look/what they do. We like to put labels on things “good” “bad” but it’s not soo black and white.
We cannot be defined by our choices, by how we look, or even our thoughts. We are much greater. I believe we are all connected to the divine; source energy.
Basically we’re all gods and goddesses walking the earth, that have forgotten how much power we have.
Okay so we’re part of a capitalist society, but we can protect our heart and mind from toxic behaviours.
Let’s stop shaming each other.
Admire differences. Empower others.
Thanks for reading! Do you relate to anything that I’ve written? Does your mind go through similar thought patterns?
I’m going to be writing more about how internerlised capitalism affects our minds. Stay tuned…
BIG mouth Naomi 